Fires in California

My heart aches for California. This is not the state I was born and raised in, but it is and has been home for more than 22 years. It's more than that though, it's knowing people personally who are affected by these fires; my daughter and her boyfriend, family of friends (fire south) had to evacuate.

I was looking at Twitter and my heart broke. Seeing pictures of Paradise, gone (fire north) And my friend told me 6,600 homes were gone in an hour. Someone was looking for their 87 year old dad...

All of it breaks my heart because I now know someone personally affected. I always would get sad before, but this is empathy now...

Why is it that I'm more affected when I know someone personally? It's even been that way since Phil's death. When I know someone who has lost a loved one my heart aches for them more now. I'm wondering if it has to do with 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Now as I head to bed, I'm grieving but I'm also praying, praying to the God who holds it all together and who is the Strength of my life. Without Him to give me Peace and Hope I would be so devastated, but no matter what, I know He is with me, because He has proven Himself faithful time and time again and He has always kept His promises and He won't stop now.

It Is Well With My Soul

Life really is full of heartache isn't it? I'm experiencing it in remembering what was happening two years ago when my husband was declining and as different friends face the death of a child and a parent. Life. Is. Hard. Heartache meets us at a turn in the road and we are left with battered hearts, and we struggle to hang on to the hope that we know we have in Christ. It's a thin silver thread blowing in the breeze, but once we grasp it, hope, however small becomes ours and we find that, because of Who Christ is, it will grow and blossom even in the most aching of hearts. It's not always instant and may take time but it will grow as we keep our eyes on Christ in the midst of our sorrow. 

I know sorrow. Well. It's debilitating. After the death of a loved one, making the arrangements for burial and a service, it can kind of take a back seat because of all the planning going on. Then, everyone leaves and we have to face reality. Our loved ones aren't coming back... They're gone. Sorrow meets us in the hallway, it comes to wash over us in the deep darkness of night, stealing our sleep, bringing tears and more tears... and when we think we can't cry any more, there are more tears, becoming a puddle at our feet. 

Then, because of the hope we have in Christ, for those of us who have accepted His gift of salvation, as have our loved ones, we know we haven't lost them, as Randy Alcorn says in his book, Heaven, we have just lost touch with them. One day we will see them again. The day Jesus calls for us either in death, or when He comes in the clouds to take us to heaven with Him, we'll see HIM and all those who have gone before. Victory!

Scripture says that weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning. God always shows up. He's always with us. He's always good. He's not just good when things are going how we want them to or think they should, He's good all the time. Why do we only say "God's so good." when things go 'right'? I think it's because we find it hard to see 'bad things' as 'good things'... 

I know God's goodness in the midst of difficult times, times when my heart is broken, and sorrow overwhelms me. Always, God has been there to help me, to dry my tears, drawing me close. So now, as friends go through the death of loved ones, my heart empathizes with them, and I pray that as they face these losses, they too, will know the nearness of God and His all encompassing love for them in their sorrow. 

I have talked with a friend recently about how she has felt God isn't safe, and that makes it hard to trust Him. She's wondered how the Bible can say He can be trusted when physically we aren't always safe, but then she realized, we ARE safe, because while we may go through very difficult times physically, our souls are always safe in Him. He is there. To carry us, to give us comfort in the midst of sorrow and pain. As I was thinking of our not being physically safe, the thought came to me, from the Holy Spirit, I believe, that Jesus, when He was on earth, wasn't physically safe when He was horribly beaten, and His body was nailed to the cross. But then, He rose victorious over the grave and because He did, we too can rise above the circumstances of life that want to hold us down, and we can say, It is well with my soul. 


(Lyrics for the song can be found here, with verses I've never seen before)

Empathy

I have always had a heart for people and to some degree have felt their sadness, but the last two weeks I have experienced empathy. I have cried for two ladies who have 'lost' their husbands. One is a gal I have known for many years. We were best friends in Jr High. We had lost touch for about four decades! Thanks to Facebook and ultimately, God, we reconnected a couple of years ago. We haven't spoken on the phone or seen each other... but that doesn't change how our friendship was instantly rekindled and the love we felt toward one another was reignited. One day last week she posted that her husband had passed away the night before. My heart instantly ached for her. Tears slid down my cheeks in silent empathy. I know the pain  of having your husband, your best friend ever, leaving his earthly body to go home to Jesus. As I've read, and heard, this last year, I didn't lose him, I know right where he is. And a song says, "I didn't lose him, I know right where he is. He was never really mine, he was always His." You can listen to that song here. I may have posted it before, but that' ok. :) 

Yesterday afternoon I learned that a man from my church passed away. I started crying... because I knew this man but I also cried (more so) for his wife... she and he had come to visit me not long after my husband passed away and throughout this last year she has sent me cards to encourage me and show her support. She has also given me hugs and talked with me at church, asking how I'm doing. Now she is facing grief as well. Because I know them both it hit a little bit closer to home, and the pain of Phil's passing came rushing back... I relived those moments before he passed away. Sitting next to his bed in the hospital room, holding his hand the last couple of hours until he slipped into the arms of Jesus. Tears flowed then, and have flowed often this last year... 

I, of course, don't know fully what these two precious ladies are feeling, but I do, to some degree, because the pain of 'losing' a husband is different than any other kind of death, although death is always hard. As I have heard of other people who have had loved ones pass away my heart goes out to them as well. Death is painful. For those who know Jesus though, we don't grieve without hope. Yes, we grieve, sometimes we grieve hard. I did... there were times I just wanted it to be over... the pain was so intense and I hurt like I've never hurt before, but God is faithful... and even though I was grieving, it was not without hope. I'm still grieving, but it's not as intense... God has proven Himself faithful. The Comforter has been with me through this dark night of the soul and I know He will be with these two precious women as well. 

If God allows, I hope and pray that I will be able to comfort them with the same comfort He has given me (2 Corinthians 1:3-7)