In an earlier post I said I was going to share memories of our wedding 💒 day... I'm just gonna share (meaning I'm just gonna start writing and see what happens). I have no idea how long this will be... Thirty-three years ago tomorrow, June 23, Philip John Kliewer and Pamela Joy Pauls were united in holy matrimony. We were 23, a couple of young kids. We wrote our own vows and had some traditional ones too. We talked to each other during the music... We gazed with love into each others eyes and we committed to love, honor and cherish each other until death parted us... Little knowing 32.5 years later it would be death that parted us. We can say what Phil died from, but in all honesty God chose the day Phil would go home to heaven. Job 14:5 says "You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer."
Phil and I walked down the aisle after being pronounced husband and wife and introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Philip John Kliewer to a worship song we had the congregation sing. The words are: I will arise and go forth
In the name of the Lord of hosts,
For He has conquered every foe
By His name, by His name.
I will declare He is the Lord.
And in Him I am not afraid,
I will arise and go forth in His name.
God made us one flesh, so we wanted to honor Him from that first day as central in our marriage.
The first year or two was rough; we had many fights and lots of tears. We had to *learn* how to be married. We were friends before our courtship and I think that was in our favor. We learned how to work through our difficulties and personality differences. Several years down the road Phil even initiated counseling for us when we were at an impasse over some issues. That he initiated it spoke volumes to me of how much he loved me.
Phil faced many health challenges during the course of our marriage due to diabetes (type 1 - he was diagnosed at 18). God used those times to strengthen Phil and our marriage and to further solidify our union.
We were blessed with one child, our daughter, Rebekah, a little less than two years after we married. Phil loved having a daughter and as she grew his delight in her grew. He let her put clips and barrettes in his hair and loved every minute of it. They shared a love of fishing together in his folks' pond and in later years, hiking and enjoying photography together.
Phil loved me completely and learned my love language ~ gifts. He would leave me notes to find or bring something home from work. After he was declared legally blind and his Dr told him to quit driving he would walk across the street sometimes, on his lunch break, to buy flowers at Albertson's and present them to me when I picked him up from work.
Over the years we shared many wonderful conversations, went on a get away at least once a year (usually on our anniversary), shared our joys and sorrows, hopes and dreams.
It was almost 2 years ago when he was diagnosed with primary cns lymphoma (brain cancer). I watched his fear melt away over time as he *chose* to put his faith in Jesus and lean on Him. As he gradually lost his vision, his trust in God grew stronger. He was standing on the Rock and sometimes when a song would come on the radio I would look over and see his hands raised to God, tears streaming down his face, as a smile of joy was on his lips. The last several months he often said "God is my ROCK." And he meant it.
Being his wife was a delight and made the challenge of being his caregiver a bit easier. The last 4-5 months grew increasingly difficult as his body just gave out... But, every. single. day. I knew he was praying for me. He would ask me what he could pray for or tell me he was praying for me. And his grateful heart... Wow. He thanked me for everything...putting eyedrops in, bringing him water, food, helping guide him through the house, going for walks (when he was still able). He had in home health care and he was the same way with the nurses. Anyone who did anything for him was met with a heartfelt thank you.
The picture was taken sometime last year, when he was still able to get out... It's one of my favorites.
I shall miss Phil every day for the rest of my life, I'm sure, but as we always said when we talked on the phone (this started during our dating years), "Hello", meaning I'll see you later... This isn't goodbye because we both have our hope in Jesus Christ. And we believe Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and no man comes to the Father except through Him... Jesus shed His blood so we could be free from sin and bondage and spend eternity with Him. So, hello, honey. I love you. Happy Anniversary. ❣️
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