God is Amazing, Awesome, Wonderful, Worthy to be Praised!

Wow, it's been awhile since I posted. Almost a month... Right now I just heard an acorn hit the roof and roll down. Phil and I both loved that... A silly thing, but it was ours to share. I miss sharing it with him. I miss him. But. I'm not a victim. I'm victorious because of Christ in me. We are more than  conquerors through Him who loves us (Romans 8:37).

I hope this post doesn't get too long as I have a few different things on my heart.

One 

Last week Thursday I went to the Walmart Vision Center to pick up my new glasses. The young man who helped me used to work in the photo department with my husband. He told me that to this day Phil is his hero. He told me today that Phil helped him learn how to treat people with kindness no matter their attitude and to not let them ruin his day. He also said he helped him to be a better husband and father...

I told him it was God in him... It still made-up me so proud... A gift...his words were/are a gift...     I was able to speak to him of God's love for him and how He helps us and he said "oh I know." I mentioned Christ dying on the cross. He assured me when  I asked him, that yes he does know Jesus as his Savior and he doesn't know how people make it without God. He said, "Phil always said, God is my Rock, I say, God has my back."

Two 

The first part of yesterday was hard for me, but when I laid down for a second nap and was crying so much over what happened last year at this time (Phil starting to get worse) God spoke so profoundly to my heart. He told me that was then and I'm living NOW and I don't need to live in the past. What happened, happened... Sure I still miss him, a lot, and there will still be tears, but God is with me and I can trust that He knew what He was doing then and He knows what He's doing now. I know without a doubt He's using the counseling and memorizing scripture and the book (Trusting God by Jerry Bridges) I'm reading to change me... 

One paragraph in particular has really helped me. " I will say this next statement as gently and compassionately as I know how. Our first priority in times of adversity is to honor and glorify God by trusting him. We tend to make our first priority the gaining of relief from our feelings of heartache or disappointment or frustration. This is a natural desire, and God has promised to give us grace sufficient for our trials and peace for our anxieties (see 2 Corinthians 12:9; Philippians 4:6-7). But just as God's will is to take precedence over our will (in Matthew 26:39 Jesus himself said, "Yet not as I will but as you will"), so God's honor is to take precedence over our feelings. We honor God by choosing to trust Him when we don't understand what He is doing or why he has allowed some adverse circumstance to occur. As we seek God's glory, we may be sure that He has purposed our good and that He will not be frustrated in fulfilling that purpose."

Something I saw on Instagram yesterday really spoke to my heart in a HUGE way that goes along with the paragraph above (I love how when God wants to teach us something He will often bring a point home in different ways). It was "To heal a wound you need to stop touching it." These words by Shelley Giglio were with that post:
"When we talk more about the wound than we do about the Healer, we minimize the power of God. By His stripes, [His wounds] WE ARE HEALED. Amen."

I'm knowing God's peace and joy in a greater way than I have in a long time. And I know that God is using Phil's death for my good and His glory, because it is what He has promised to do. (The attached picture reflects how I feel now... The joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10). He is my peace. His work in me is going to be completed. Philippians 1:6 For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.) 

Three
This Saturday September 16 is twenty years since God allowed me to give my beloved husband one of my kidneys. I asked my daughter a couple of months ago ago if she could come because I felt (as any anniversary that comes) it would be a sad time. She can't come until Monday or Tuesday but I told her that was OK. I was trying to decide how I'm going to make it through the day... But after what God did in my heart yesterday, I decided I want to CELEBRATE. Even though Phil is now in heaven, the fact remains that the kidney transplant gave us 19 more years together and my daughter had her daddy for 19 more years! That is something to celebrate!