He Sees, He Knows, He Provides

This morning a song was playing over and over in my mind and heart; actually just one phrase from a song... 

Oh my soul, 
You are not alone
There's a place where fear has to face the God you know

You can listen to it here

In my loneliness lately, I have sometimes felt alone... because Phil isn't here to talk things over with... helping me make decisions I need to make, hard decisions (at least they seem hard to me). Needing to quit going to the chiropractor who's been helping me so much, because he doesn't take my insurance, and needing to get a job, because what I'm doing with Stampin Up isn't enough. Those two things have terrified me. Panic has risen up and caused so much stress... but in that I have cried out to God and this morning... well... wow... The thought processes had to be the Holy Spirit... I'll see if I can explain it... :) 

I was going through my Facebook memories and one from several years ago was when my daughter was here for a visit and she posted about a place we went to and said that sometimes she forgets what a hick town she's from... lol So that started me thinking about how we even got to where we live... and then Psalm 139:16 popped into my head... "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book, were written every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."

All of my days, written in God's book, so that means I'm not alone... I'm seen, I'm known, I'm provided for... Fear doesn't need to be part of who I am, or what I feel... because we walk by faith and not by sight, and God, He knows exactly what I need to live, and He will provide... Hard times, given to help us rely more on God and less on ourselves; in fact, we shouldn't be leaning on ourselves at all. He knows what is needed to make me rely on Him more and to build my character. So many times over the years, people have said to us, "You don't need that." Yes, we do... Absolutely nothing in this life takes God by surprise, because all of our days are written in His book and He knows exactly what we need, not just for our provisions, but for our growth in Him. In one Scripture in the New Testament, it says with food and clothing we shall be content. It says nothing of shelter... how blessed we are! Gratefulness should well up within us at how much He has provided for us, salvation being at the top of the list... and the Holy Spirit to guide, comfort and direct... 

This morning I was grieving; missing Phil so much... as lately sweeter memories have come, of our happy, love filled times together. I sometimes feel guilty for still grieving, but God spoke to my heart... "it's ok to grieve. You don't grieve without hope." And then I was able to thank Him that Phil is in heaven with Him... and my heart was stilled... because, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I can be still and know that He is God!

My feelings still want to take front and center stage when I think of what needs to be done, but I pray that I will continue, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to rely on God and know that I am not alone! It's so true what Scripture also says, "without Him we can do nothing."