Life....

Life can be really hard at times. Downright painful. If you're like me, you may wonder at times, if you're going to make it. I have wondered that so many times in the last nine months especially, since my husband passed away in January. The pain of 'losing' the man I was married to for more than 32.5 years has been excruciating at times.

But, who gives us life? God does and according to Psalm 139:16 every day of our lives was planned out before one of them came to be! Nothing that happens in our lives takes God by surprise. 

Recently in my Facebook memories some things came up that my husband wrote. He lived his last days with brain cancer and failed eyesight. And yet, look at these words:

Life sometimes, like a broken rope, can leave you stunned when your perceived plans (trajectory?) are suddenly redirected... when you thought you were zooming along on your life course, it suddenly becomes a wild

trajectory.

You thought your middle name was invincible, until the doctor says

cancer.

If life's determined outlook were solely up to my strength, I would die of fear.

But... I know The One who has power to calm raging seas, and calm  raging fears.

In really rough cases, He even gives shoulder rides.

I'm hangin' on...

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And these from another memory that came up this week:

Ah, the days of youth! I'm finding it incredibly amazing how the Lord has been recently recalling past life snapshots, and being THE voice, behind the narration. 

Unlike the weak ~man~ behind the voice of the impotent 'wizard'  in the Wizard of Oz, Almighty God is POWER, no one 'speaks' a voice-over for Him!

In this journey, I've had interesting things happen with my hearing.

My spiritual hearing.

during this voyage I've been on, the Lord has sometimes rerun old memories, with an added track, and I'm amazed when He plays it when needed.

Sometimes at the greatest times!

I've had this new playback track kick in, right when I really needed it. Very often, the new track is an encounter with someone I haven't seen for awhile, and it's so great when they ask THE question "so...  howya doin?", and I pull off my cap, showing my  chrome dome, and they about faint, and we (Pamela & I) have the opportunity to share & encourage!

It's a melody of joy indescribable.

Sometimes it'll be in a wonderful place in my day, when the melody is so exuberant that I'm brought to tears of praiseful joy!

Sometimes...  it's in the middle of very frightening cancer doctor appointments, and I'm reminded again

fear can't survive in the presence of the Lord. Trust kills fear. I may need that inoculation  20 times in a day, but The Doctor is always in. No waiting.

One thing I've been blessed to realize is that none of my fears or hardships ever surprised Him.

"Oh my! I didn't know THAT was going to happen! " is not in my Lord's vocabulary.

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He hung on to Jesus because he KNEW Jesus was hanging on to him! And his words encourage me now to keep on, with Jesus, fixing my eyes on Him as I throw off the weight and the sin that so easily entangles and run the race with endurance (Hebrews 12:1-2). And I can only DO any of that with the help of the Holy Spirit.

This photo is at Chapel of the Roses where Phil's niche is... It's a beautiful place, BUT he's not there... He's in heaven singing praises to His Savior and King, his Creator... Free from cancer, and all the burdens of this life. And he is SEEING.

We have burdens, but please, remember with me, that we are not alone.

We have Someone Who wants to carry our burdens and is with us *every step of the way* on this journey called life, that God planned out for us long ago.